Ghosts of Christmas past
So once long ago I was madly in love with a girl. I thought she could do no wrong blah blah blah. Then of course she dumped me, for reasons I mostly deserved to be truthful and we went our separate ways. Years later we bumped into each other and things clicked again. But yet there was issues I was trying so hard to ignore cause I wanted it to work. Eventually it is safe to say the girl I had fallen so much in love with was no longer the same person.
So long and grueling story short (most of which was blogged), we were lucky to make a baby together and she decided she would rather give him up than ever have anything to do with me anymore. Hmm sounds like a heck of a deal doesn’t it.
And so she did, and I went on to find the 2nd love of my life and so on and so forth…
So after a long time in the works the final thing she is ever going to have to deal with me about is happening. Eli is being adopted by Lauren. And since of course she has to sign off on it or we have to fight it out, since she has not seen him since the day he was born, it would have been a short fight, and I am sure she figured that or still thinks anything is better than having to deal with me, she is signing the final paperwork and I am making run on sentences.
To me this is a big deal, I have always worried that if I died she would be given Eli no matter what Lauren said, and well this removes that issue, and it is wonderful. But my god, would you believe her lawyer had the audacity to demand we pay for HER lawyers bills. And I should say we talked about it for a bit and just did, cause it is worth it in the long run, but my god.
When I was given custody of Eli I will never forget the Judge looking at me and saying she was irritated with this. That if I was giving the child up and not HER there is absolutely no way she would have signed the paperwork with out forcing me to pay child support. And the Judge told me she wanted and expected to see me back in a few weeks asking for it, I of course never did. I assumed all costs for Eli the minute he was born, she never paid for a penny over her own health costs or well, anything for him. So at the last hour being forced to pay for her attorney fee’s pissed me WAY off. This is not exactly a hard form to understand, and trust me, it has to be signed in front of a judge and it is a big deal in that giving up your parental rights is not an easy thing to do, you do not just mail in a postcard. So I can understand how she might like to have it looked at by an attorney even though the judge would gladly explain it to her, but we are not paying for 30 mins of a lawyers time, no the bill was just a bit more than that. I can only guess it involves holding her hand as she meets with the judge dinner out and maybe a new outfit or two, no clue what else.
I was so tempted to send them a worksheet print out from the state on what child support would have cost her, but Lauren was right in arguing that its worth it to get it signed and never needing to think about it again. Or sending her a note saying how happy a birthday Eli will be having this year since we spent all we had on her lawyer and he wont be getting any presents.
But Lauren is right, it is better to just have it over with, but Never EVER let anyone tell you adoptions are cheap. And doing 3 of them at once is enough to make us wish we had just bought new cars instead.
But the peace of mind is worth it right? And in time I am sure I will forget how pissed off I am and be glad that she just signed it and is out of our lives.. right? Beuller? Beuller?