Look momma!! The snow is almost gone!! Spring is coming!

Uh we got over a foot of snow yesterday, it is not even CLOSE to melting away. Gotta love that childish enthusiasm huh? Things are stressed and as always busy here. I am definitely feeling the strain and unfortunately for TK he is having to deal with me. To say that I have not been fun to be around the past few days is a major understatement. Good thing he loves me and I'm cute. =)~

How I wish I could be there, just to let her know that she was more then just a dog but a member of our family. Our Aussie, Bruce is going to be devastated. We are all going to be devastated for a while. And even though the little ones don’t fully understand that Abby will never be better, they will understand that she won’t be here anymore. That she won’t be in the yard ever ready to chase a ball or to watch over her charges as they play in the yard. As a pet owner you expect to out live your pets. But you don’t expect to lose them after four years. Words like, genetic, nothing to be done, quality of life, aren’t helpful and don’t make the decision any easier, but the decision has to be made. And you hope it is the right one for her and for your family.

Goodbye Abby, our sweet girl. Chase chickens, run in open meadows, I hope there is someone there to endlessly throw the ball for you. Snout smooches baby girl..

Speaking of which, can you believe it is already Christmas Eve? Neither can I!! I swear in my head it was just Halloween last week. Yet here we are.

I hope where ever you are, what ever you are doing, you are getting to spend the Holiday with loved ones and friends. I am finding myself doing a lot of self introspection this year. A lot of looking at those around me and seeing how truly lucky I am. At examining my life and seeing room for improvement within myself yet seeing my life and finding that I am so very lucky. Merry Christmas or if you don’t celebrate, have a wonderful Holiday Season.

TK has a snowmobile. Let me say that again, TK has a snowmobile. He calls it a land shark. The sucker is massive. He has had it for who knows how long and it was sitting in a friend’s barn until sometime this past fall when he just HAD to go get it and fix it. So, now it works. Now, I don’t like to be cold. So you can bet your butt I got out as little as possible during the Maine winter. Hello this is why I picked up knitting and now sewing. (side note: Gracie wore a cute pink dress I made for her last night to A and JJ’s Christmas concert and she looked sooo cute!! I done did good!) Anyhow, last week when I got home from work there was enough slushy ice on the ground that TK asked if I wanted to take a ride on the snowmobile. I of course shocked the heck out of him and said yes. I shocked the heck out of myself by saying yes. ~blinks~ I rode on the snowmobile. In fact, I not only rode on it but I love it! It was so fun!! I asked him to not go fast. I should know better. I know. I know I should. And he went fast and……I loved it. Ok I had a death hold on TK. But wow was it fun! We are supposed to get 1-3 inches of snow tomorrow and on Sunday a nice big storm is coming and we are supposed to get around a foot of snow. And funny enough I am a bit excited about it. =) I can’t wait til he let’s me take it out by myself. Heh like that is ever going to happen! =)

I have so much fun watching the survival shows. You know the ones, where they drop off some dude in the middle of nowhere and he has to survive long enough to get rescued. TK can do that stuff hands down. In fact he is the type that might like it so much he wouldn’t want to be rescued. I love hearing him say, “That is NOT the way to use the flint you moron!” or “Use your damn knife, kill the snake and have dinner!”. I know that if we ever got lost in the woods, I would be just fine. I ask him all the time, “Gee Honey what would you do if we got lost taking a hike?” His reply, “I wouldn’t be an idiot and forget my damn compass, my knife or my damn lighter.” Heh.

So, how was your Thanksgiving? How are you doing? Oh just tell me every lil old thang. =)

Our Thanksgiving was fantastic. May I just brag that I got out of having to cook one single thing? How do you ask? Why I had to work 8-4 that day. This being a supervisor thing can suck sometimes. =) I walked into the table being set and the turkey being pulled out of the oven. The cranberry sauce was delish. So, for dessert we of course had what just about everyone else was having. Pumpkin pie. First word out of my mouth? "Wow Honey, it's a bit sweet huh?" I got poo poohed and told it was fine. The next day he realizes that when he thought he was putting in a cup and a half of sugar he was actually putting in three cups. Yah, just a bit sweet. It was good anyway. Anytime you don't have to cook it is awesome. =)

I even went out the next morning for ohmygawd wtf time is it and why the hell am I out shopping. It was fun and I got the one big thing the big kids are getting. I do have to say that I was a wee bit disappointed. The sales weren't as good as I was expecting. And I wasn't expecting everything for free either. It was just 'eh. But I did get some good stuff. It was actually fun. This is the second year I have done it and honestly, it's fun. So what if I get a little twitchy by noon because of lack of sleep. SO!?!? =)

And so the Christmas season has begun. How did that happen? Seriously, how? I was talking with the 18 year old this morning and we were talking about how he is graduating this year and that he will be 19 in July. Why yes I did run into a tree why do you ask? Sheesh how did I get to be so old? ~sigh~ Don't answer that. Did I mention the M@rines are calling my house? Trying to get him to join up. It's great, the SSGT can hear me screaming in the background, "TELL HIM YOU CAN'T WALK UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS WITHOUT LOSING YOUR BREATH!! DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR ASTHMA AND HEART MURMUR?" It's been really interesting. Damnit.

So, how are you?

So for Halloween this year, I had this brilliant idea. Wait, no that's not true. Actually the kids came up with it in August, we were watching the Wizard of Oz and E had said how he would love to be a lion for Halloween. So Miss G said she wanted to be Dorothy and it just went on from there. I have recently taken up sewing. Actually last Spring I had bought myself a sewing machine online cheap. Love it. LOVE.IT. I have been making the younger four pajama pants, wicked easy in soft flannel for this winter because we will not be running the heat like we have previous years. See:poor as shat. ~blink~ Wait. Focus Lauren! Back on topic. So anyway, I figured I would make their costumes. You see where this is going right? I lucked out, my neighbor is an ebay Goddess!!! She buys and sells on that sucker like nobodies business. So I was able to snag the tinman and the lion from her. That left Dorothy and the scarecrow for G and Z. Let me just say that making a freaking dress with !DARTS! and sleeves that YES THEY DO HAVE TO BE THE SAME LENGTH was not as easy and the damn pajama pants. I was half way through one when it ticked me off and I had to start over with a different pattern that made more sense to me. And let me tell you there are fifty million different Wiz of Oz patterns out there. AND? Sewing raffia on pants, yeah not as easy as I thought it would be. Hot glue was looking pretty good to me, but hello have you met my Z? If you had you would understand, as it was he was leaving a trail of "straw" and that is because that stuff was sewn on. All in all they looked cute as all get out, forget the fact that I had to work that night and TK is still miffed he had to do it all himself. Needless to say I am going to try and get Halloween off next year AND I need to come up with costumes for next year that were better then this year's. Heh. Competitive much? With myself, absolutely. And since it was coolish I even made a matching cape for my girl. They all looked so stinkin cute!

Speaking of sewing, I love it. Really I do, but zippers? Those scare the hell out of me. Can they come up with something that can do it with out me fiddling with it? We here in the crazy house have pretty much decided we are going to have more home made Christmas then store bought gifts, so I am wracking my brain for gifts that I can make for the kids. I have a dress for G and am going to be making her a kitty pillow for her bed. E is into writing in his journal and coloring and what not, so I am thinking a crayon roll up and a cute journal for him. Z is going to be much harder, that kid is rough and tumble so I am not sure. Actually that isn't true, I am thinking that kid needs a super cape. "HONEY, where is my super suit?" Heh Get it? ~sigh~ A is into everything and anything so he shouldn't be hard just unique. It's the big boys that are going to be super hard. Either way, it starts and it should be interesting.

We have an 18 year old in the house. I am in complete denial about that. I am in denial that he graduates from high school this year and I think when that happens I will have a melt down because hello that is huge. HUGE. =) All but one of the demon brigade is in school and she starts school next year. I seriously can't imagine now having at least one home. It's going to be weeeeird. A is playing the trombone now. So we have a trumpet player and a trombone player in the family, so far. It isn't quiet that is for sure, not like it ever was any way. And so so many other things.

I am not sure what direction, if any, this blog is going to be going. Right now Chuck and I barely have time to sit still much less sit at the computer. Well that isn't true, my job is centered around me being on the computer I just can't blog while I am doing it. Damn it. =) But if you really want to keep up with me I am on twitter. I even put it up on the side bar so you can glance at it if you so chose. My user name is loriticajane (my mom gave me that nickname when I was a teenager, no I don't get it either lol) So, yeah, uh we are back. Kinda. =)

Other than that only 2ft of snow left in the back yard and the pond is mostly unfrozen. YEAH.
Oh and one of the hens was acting broody.. Cool beans. Hoping for some interesting chicks this spring

So long and grueling story short (most of which was blogged), we were lucky to make a baby together and she decided she would rather give him up than ever have anything to do with me anymore. Hmm sounds like a heck of a deal doesn’t it.

And so she did, and I went on to find the 2nd love of my life and so on and so forth…

So after a long time in the works the final thing she is ever going to have to deal with me about is happening. Eli is being adopted by Lauren. And since of course she has to sign off on it or we have to fight it out, since she has not seen him since the day he was born, it would have been a short fight, and I am sure she figured that or still thinks anything is better than having to deal with me, she is signing the final paperwork and I am making run on sentences.

To me this is a big deal, I have always worried that if I died she would be given Eli no matter what Lauren said, and well this removes that issue, and it is wonderful. But my god, would you believe her lawyer had the audacity to demand we pay for HER lawyers bills. And I should say we talked about it for a bit and just did, cause it is worth it in the long run, but my god.

When I was given custody of Eli I will never forget the Judge looking at me and saying she was irritated with this. That if I was giving the child up and not HER there is absolutely no way she would have signed the paperwork with out forcing me to pay child support. And the Judge told me she wanted and expected to see me back in a few weeks asking for it, I of course never did. I assumed all costs for Eli the minute he was born, she never paid for a penny over her own health costs or well, anything for him. So at the last hour being forced to pay for her attorney fee’s pissed me WAY off. This is not exactly a hard form to understand, and trust me, it has to be signed in front of a judge and it is a big deal in that giving up your parental rights is not an easy thing to do, you do not just mail in a postcard. So I can understand how she might like to have it looked at by an attorney even though the judge would gladly explain it to her, but we are not paying for 30 mins of a lawyers time, no the bill was just a bit more than that. I can only guess it involves holding her hand as she meets with the judge dinner out and maybe a new outfit or two, no clue what else.

I was so tempted to send them a worksheet print out from the state on what child support would have cost her, but Lauren was right in arguing that its worth it to get it signed and never needing to think about it again. Or sending her a note saying how happy a birthday Eli will be having this year since we spent all we had on her lawyer and he wont be getting any presents.

But Lauren is right, it is better to just have it over with, but Never EVER let anyone tell you adoptions are cheap. And doing 3 of them at once is enough to make us wish we had just bought new cars instead.

But the peace of mind is worth it right? And in time I am sure I will forget how pissed off I am and be glad that she just signed it and is out of our lives.. right? Beuller? Beuller?

"um sunday?"

"Yesterday was Dr. Seuss's birthday."

"oh good"

"He is still dead though"

"um, well i guess that is good too."

My mind is turning to mush. I blame you.